Personally, as an ally, I don’t think the focus should be on delivering a message to Lil Mama that is ally-friendly should be the focus, but rather delivering a message to her that her comments were offensive should be the focus. Allies should be corrected, and I think it is OK to do that.

Leiomy’s actions on the show were heavily edited (one week’s worth of behavior was cut down into about 45seconds), her friend Alloura died a few days before the taping of Sunday’s episode – which probably explained her absences and want to be back home. Many people in the ball room scene call each other “bitches” so when that clip was shown it was wildly out of context.

I think belng an ally to trans women is to allow yourself to be critiqued. I don’t think it is the right of allies to state how allies should be handled when we say something wrong, or to try to pacify the discussion when something transphobic (I think we should call it that) is said. I see where you’re coming from, I definitely do – but it doesn’t seem like a cut and dry type of discussion.

great references on how to be an ally to trans people and an ally in general are here:

http://portlytruestories.blogspot.com/2007/11/how-to-fuck-up.html

http://questioningtransphobia.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/transphobic-tropes-1-%E2%80%93-%E2%80%9Creally%E2%80%9D-a-manwoman/

http://www.timtum.net/TransRespect101.pdf

I’m not sure what the resolution is – but the debate it is creating is important and really informs where Transactivism has been and where it will be going. In general, Leoimy has been absolutely vilified in multiple blogs/media sources (Best Week Ever has been wildly transphobic about her presence on the show from the beginning, as have Gawker, VH1, even MTV itself and other sites) and I think Lil Mama ignited that notion that bringing up Leoimy’s trans history (over and over and over again) informs every aspect of her behavior on the show. It doesn’t, and maybe something needs to be said about how Leoimy has been treated in the medias in general and Lil Mama’s comments could be the perfect opportunity to do so?

At the end of the day, Leiomy really was acting out and she needed someone to give her a wakeup call – “it’s not about you, there are so many people looking up to you right now so don’t ruin it” was what I heard from Lil Mama’s critique that day. It could’ve been delivered without restating gender binaries, but I’m really sure the ignorant judge didn’t realize that by revisiting biological ‘manhood’ it was both demeaning, insensitive, and alienating. She needs to learn that it was, and I’m sure once she does she’ll be more careful.

So, I hope Lil Mama gets that message and considers the transgender experience more carefully next time before blabbing away with no tact. I would be more impressed were GLAAD to achieve that than an applause from the gay community at large for putting a perceived ignorant straight person in their place – back on the ‘other’ side – and everybody loses.